All post must include a joke in it. If you want to comment on other joke that is fine but remember you must also post a joke.
Rules:
1) Try to keep the jokes somewhat clean, we do have young viewers.
2) No racially offensive joke per the rules
3) Only put one joke in each post.
4) Limit your activity in this thread at two posts per page.
Ok to get it started off
Staking out a notoriously rowdy bar for possible D.U.I. violators, a cop watched from his squad car as a fellow stumbled out the door, tripped on the curb and tried 45 cars before opening the door to his own and falling asleep on the front seat.
One by one, the drivers of the other cars drove off. Finally, the sleeper woke up, started his car and began to leave. The cop pulled him over and administered a Breathalyzer test. When the results showed a 0.0 blood-alcohol level, the puzzled policeman asked him how that was possible.
"Easy," was the reply. "Tonight was my turn to be the decoy"
PG-13
One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in. He was very good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday: "9:30 okay?"
George said, "Fine, but I may be about 10 minutes late. Wait for me."
The following Sunday, George showed up right on time. Not only that, he played left-handed and beat them.
They agreed to meet the following Sunday at 9:30. George again said, "Okay, but I may be about 10 minutes late. Wait for me."
The next Sunday, there was George, punctual to the dot. This time he played right-handed and beat them again. "Okay, for 9:30 next Sunday?" one of the foursome asked.
George said, "Sure if I’m 10 minutes late…"
Another golfer jumped in. "Wait a minute… You always say you may be 10 minutes late. But you’re always right on time and you beat us whether you play right or left handed."
George said, "Well, that’s true -- I’m superstitious. If I wake up and my wife is sleeping on her right side, I play right-handed. If she’s sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed."
"What if she’s lying on her back?"
George said, "That’s when I’m 10 minutes late!"
hehe that was pretty decent...
One day, up at the white gates to Heaven, there is a large backup of people waiting to get in. After waiting several hours, St. Peter comes out and announces that there is an overflow in heaven, and only the people with the most tramatic deaths will be let in right now, and that they must tell their death story to get in.
The first man steps up to tell his story.
"So one day, I cam home early from work, suspecting my wife was cheating. I entered the appartment, and searched everywhere, but only my wife was to be found, naked and sweat covered in the bedroom. Angry, I exited to the terrace to have a smoke. I look down as I light it and see a man, hanging from the balcony. I kick him in the face and he falls 8 stories to the bushes. He is dazed but okay and tries to get up, so I grabbed the fridge and threw it off the balcony, killing him. The only problem was that lifting the fridge, gave me a heart attack"
St. Peter pauses, then allows him inside.
The next guy steps up and starts to speak.
"So I'm out on my balcony, oiling my bike when I slip on some 4 in 1 and fall over the railing, grabbing the one downstairs. I'm hanging on for deal life when I see this guy. He kicks me in the head and I falll into some bushes, I figure I'm okay. Then, he drops a fridge on me and squashes my head, killing me"
St. Peter thinks for a moment then lets him inside as well.
The next guy steps up, holding his hands over his crotch because he's naked.
"St. Peter dude, picture this, okay? I'm hiding in this married chick's refridgerator..."
My second one for this page. Beware I have alot of jokes.
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first
anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the
surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor
started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2
important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by
anything involving the human body."
For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.
*COPY AND PASTED FROM SITE SO I APPOLOGIZE FOR GRAMMER AND SPELLING BECUASE I'M TOO LAZY TO FIX IT*
Beware I have alot of jokes.
So do I 
Three men are sitting at a bar and each admits that he thinks his wife is cheating on him.
"I found a hammer and a tool belt under my bed yesterday," the first man says. "I think my wife is sleeping with a carpenter."
"Well, I found a medical bag under my bed yesterday," the second man admits. "I think my wife is sleeping with a doctor."
"That's nothing," the third man says. "When I came home yesterday, I found a cowboy under my bed.I think my wife is screwing a horse."
Beware I have alot of jokes.
So do I
Three men are sitting at a bar and each admits that he thinks his wife is cheating on him.
"I found a hammer and a tool belt under my bed yesterday," the first man says. "I think my wife is sleeping with a carpenter."
"Well, I found a medical bag under my bed yesterday," the second man admits. "I think my wife is sleeping with a doctor."
"That's nothing," the third man says. "When I came home yesterday, I found a cowboy under my bed.I think my wife is screwing a horse."
I thought that was funny but I don't really get it...